What’s To Worry

Perhaps I’m a worry-wart. It could be I have too much time to think. Whatever the problem I know I try to analyze, supervise, harmonize, dissect, research, etc., far too much. That’s pretty much how it has been for the last few days. ¶ I have another MRI coming up on Wednesday. That will reveal if the main lesion in the brain is still shrinking, has shrunk itself into oblivion, or has hatched new lesions (one or more). I know perfectly well why I obsess. When my imagination runs wild every little pain in the head, every time my vision becomes blurred, and in the infrequent times when I have double vision means that my brain is full of nasty little cancer critters who are determined to be the end of my rational being. The vision problems are usually cured with a couple of eye blinks.

¶ The thought of the MRI drives me nearly up a wall. It is such a horrendously noisy machine that even with the ear plugs and the ear pads it is painful to me. My fondness for the cage in which the technician places your head has ceased. My rational self tells me that it is for my own good and that everything will be just fine. Still I worry. ¶ After seeing the doctor on Wednesday morning I will probably hear the good news that all is well. But then, the office people will schedule the next MRI and I’ll have to start obsessing about that. I think the problem is that I have too much time to think. ¶ It’s been a nice week although a bit too busy to allow enough time to clean off my desk. My filing system is called the “stack” system. Panic set in when I sat behind a car at a red light and noticed their license plate renewal tag. It said “9.” That brought to mind that my renewal month is September and I had not ordered my tags. Then, I wonder where the card is that DMV sends you to remind you about your renewal and contains the valuable information needed to renew. There it was safely tucked away in a stack! Not having an enormous trust in the USPS to deliver on time I though it best to go to county administration, stand in the line and get my tags. That took one afternoon. It’s amazing how one’s time is consumed with tasks that were accomplished while working full time and now seemingly take a half-day. ¶ We are definitely heading towards autumn. It’s dark in the morning and dark by 8:00 in the evening. The evenings have been really cool and some days aren’t all that warm. Thursday’s high was 90º and Friday’s 75º. Mornings have been in the low 50s. ¶ Autumn is such a beautiful season. I look forward to it each year. Winter, not so much.

¶ The ever vigilant cat has found a new observation position. There is a neighborhood cat who is let free to roam. It was on the deck a couple of days ago. Since then Sophia has been on the lookout for said feline. She watches out the windows. One wonders if she would like to meet the interloper, or if she’d rather attack the intruder. One wonders. ¶ Thank you for your concern and your prayers and for all you do for others. We are all ministers to each other. That’s the basis of community. Bless you.