If I Don't, I Won't

It’s a strange title, I know. I’ve just returned from church having been there since 8:30 AM and it’s now 4:30 PM. I’ve decided to write the blog now because I know I’ll fall asleep as soon as I sit comfortably and will not feel like writing when I awaken. ¶ It’s been a rather long day for this retired person. The Dean of the Cathedral asked if I would do a pre-Advent Quiet Day. I answered in the affirmative. So that was this morning. There was a good attendance for such things. People seemed appreciative with several positive comments. That’s always nice to hear when you’ve spent quite a bit of time preparing. ¶ I had time to go through a drive-through for lunch, which was consumed along with a sample lemon bar from tomorrow’s bake sale. Then a journey to the organ console was necessary so I could finish preparing for the service this afternoon.

¶ A priest friend and a former student had asked me to play for a transgender memorial service this afternoon. The service was very nice, well planned and I will have to admit it was the first time I understood a “liturgical dance.” I didn’t have to play for that so I could actually watch it. ¶ It brought back memories from my early days when such things were first introduced into the church to the delight of some and the horror of others. One does not encounter them with any frequency in this day and age. We seem to have enough trouble getting people back into the pews let alone into ballet shoes and other costumery. ¶ Ballet shoes brings up another memory. I taught in same for many years. My elementary school principal was not pleased that I taught in bare feet. He was concerned that I would spread planter’s warts among the children who sat on the floor in my classroom. I did not have planter’s warts, but that’s beside the point. I didn’t have furniture because we needed the space for movement. The solution was something soft so I wouldn’t mangle some small child’s hand should I inadvertently step upon it. It seemed to work well. Everyone was satisfied and no injuries were incurred.

¶ Sophia has taken to gardening. Well, sort of. While I was away today she knocked a plant off the windowsill. When I pointed out that she had quite a lot of dirt to clean up, the responding gaze was, “I thought you had a housekeeper for that job.” The plant will need its displaced soil replaced and I really don’t want that dirt on the floor until said personage appears. Beside the fact that it’s my cat and not his, I suppose I will clean up the mess. She evidently expects it. ¶ This past week was chemo week which also accounts for the fact that I’m a little exhausted today. All went well. The numbers were good. Blood pressure all over the scale, as usual. The pharmacy was spot on most days. I really appreciate that the nurses mark me present before I arrive so the chemo shows up, compliments of TUG, shortly after I really do show my face. It speeds things up tremendously. It’s also very nice to have company while sitting around having poison pumped into my body. ¶ This afternoon is one of those dark and gloomy times which also contributes to my feeling of exhaustion. ¶ I thank you for reading, for prayers and thoughts and thanksgivings. I give thanks for all of you. Thank you for doing for others. Have a good week and a meaningful and joyful thanksgiving feast.

It’s the First

This week we had the first, the first of many to come. I’m speaking of a winter weather advisory which was proclaimed near the end of this week. ¶ We had our first snowfall which didn’t amount to a great amount but it did turn the lawns white. And we had wind. If we’d had more snow it would have been a blizzard. Now, after a couple of days of 32º or less, the prognosticators claim we’ll be back in the 60s in a couple of days. No more snow is predicted for the next week or more. Let’s hope the weather scientists are correct. The changing of the time and the first snowfall all in the same week are too much, too much, I say. ¶ Has anything exciting happened this week? Not really. Sometimes lack of excitement is good. I can keep up with the usual round. My schedule is far from hectic but busy enough to keep me up, out and around. I’ve been feeling really well and always looking forward to the next day.

¶ Twice each year the Washington Pavilion honors its volunteers with a dinner and entertainment. I avoided the crowd this year for safety’s sake. Pavilion staff and volunteers are again required to wear masks. One cannot do that when eating, however. There is usually a crowd so it’s not a good place for me to be. In spite of all the chaos of the last 18 months, several of us were honored for the number of hours that we contributed. It’s always a pleasure to be able to give my time each week, and occasionally at other times when I can fill a need. The Pavilion is such a wonderful addition to our city and I’m pleased to do what I am able to do. ¶ Next week is chemo week again. My but that comes around very rapidly. I’m sure all will go well. It always begins with blood work to be sure my system can take the medicine. There is usually no problem with that. Everything seems to be pretty stable. When the doctor came into my hospital room and told me the cancer diagnosis and that I had 3 to 5 months to live without treatment, I was shocked. Having heard about all the horrors of going through chemotherapy I said yes to the treatments with fear and trembling and partly out of shock. I have had very little trouble enduring the chemotherapy for which I am so very thankful. I’ve been going through this regime for over two years now and I have no complaints. ¶ The bulb planting has gone on throughout the week and there are still more bulbs to arrive in the post. My trusty right-hand man and I dealt with leaves on Tuesday. We have several bags in the garage ready to go to the landfill. The neighbor’s aspen on the east side refuses to give up its leaves until the bitter end. Friday’s wind put an end to that foolishness so all the trees are bereft of their leaves now. Kindly friends have volunteered to come over and finish the “leaf job.” ¶ In spite of the cold and darkness some of the sedum insists on showing its colors. Looking at it can bring hopeful thoughts of spring in a few more months.

¶ One of this week’s appointments was at the tire department in the local Costco. My front tires have been gradually losing pressure. It had become a ritual to purchase fuel and then bring the tires up to pressure. I finally decided to do something about it and had them checked. Corroded beads and a nail in one tire seemed to be the diagnosis. While waiting for the tire repair I was joined by my former personal trainer. Chatting with her made the time fly. How fortuitous that she had a tire appointment at the same time! ¶ Once again Sophia has been very helpful with the office work. Research seems to be her forte. She follows the principle that my first year German professor espoused. When something is difficult put the book under your pillow and sleep on it. For Sophia the method is also is of value when sitting on the volume and taking one’s bath. ¶ Thanks for reading, for prayers, and thoughts, and all you do. Thank you for all you do for others. At this time of year we need to be especially aware of all those in need. I give monthly to our local food bank. I know that you are doing something similar. There is no need in our society for anyone to go hungry. ¶ Have a good week.

The Long Night

Tonight is the great changing of the clocks. As the clocks move back we should all get an extra hour of sleep tonight. Well, all but one. My sleep patterns are crazy. I could blame the prednisone. Maybe that’s the culprit. Anyway, I sleep soundly for about four hours and then fitfully for the rest of the night. That’s if I go to bed at a reasonable hour. If I stay awake until 2 AM or so then I might sleep until a normal awakening time. I’m now trying to calculate the hour at which I should go to bed so that I won’t be awake at 2 or 3 in the morning. I refuse to get up, read, or do anything other than toss and turn which makes the whole thing worse. I’ve not had a nap, so far, today. Perhaps that will be the remedy. Perhaps not. I’m anticipating a long night.

¶ Today and yesterday have been beautiful. The high today was 66º which is phenomenal for South Dakota on November 6. The bulbs have arrived and are in the process of being planted. The newest part of the landscaping is again a work in progress. Come spring it will be lovely. ¶ Our governor wants to be fair, so she says. Therefore, she refuses to share the file concerning her daughter’s path to becoming a licensed real estate appraiser. Lest you forget, the daughter was refused a license. Then a meeting was called with the higher-ups in the department at the governor’s mansion, not her office. Her daughter was present. That is interesting since ostensibly she would have no reason to be present at the discussion of the content as it was reported. Following said meeting her daughter was issued a license and the person in charge of issuing same (for 30 years) was fired. She filed a wrongful termination suit and was paid $200,000 in settlement. Part of the settlement said she was not to testify disparagingly about anyone involved. Release of the file would allow the legislative panel investigating “possible” nepotism in the case to reach a conclusion. So once again the people of South Dakota are left in the dark, with unanswered questions. However the governor is being fair. ¶ The week has been a bit busy with Zoom meetings, our usual Benedictine Tuesday evening, and a trip to Yankton to participate in the institution of the new rector of Christ Church. Again it was a lovely day and a nice drive with good company. Getting out of town seems to be a real event after months of just staying home.

¶ I’ve felt really well this week. I think having an extra week off before last week’s chemo helped with the tiredness. After looking back at one of the doctor’s reports, he suggested that an extra week now and then would be helpful. ¶ Sophia has outgrown the length of her “tree top” perch. Unless she curls up she hangs over the end. It doesn’t appear to me to be comfortable, but I’m not her! ¶ Thanks for reading. Thanks for everything. Thanks for helping others.

What A Lovely Day

The day just sparkled. On Wednesday it was dreary the whole day while a record rainfall came down gently the entire time. The day ended with 2 inches of rain in the gauge. It was lovely to have that moisture to soak into the ground and water everything well before the first cold snap and the ultimate frozen ground. ¶ It was certainly a blessing for the new plantings in my front garden. Friend gardener has planted the daffodil bulbs and the allium. We are still waiting for the onslaught of 100 some bulbs that will need to go in the ground before frost disables the planting. We have a neighborhood squirrel whose mission in life is to dig things up immediately after they are planted. Not all work is in vain. There is only one of him and he can only do so much damage. I’ve spoken to him about finding greener pastures in neighbors yards. So far he has rejected my advice.

¶ The bright and sunny day today was perfect for a drive in the country. There was not a cloud in the sky as I left for Sioux Center, Iowa. The American Guild of Organists sponsored a workshop on hymn playing in which I was interested. Hymns are my favorite thing to play and I really want to interpret them so the congregation can sing them with meaning. The workshop was excellent. The leader was the organist from First Lutheran here in Sioux Falls, a very talented and gifted young man. So the trip and the workshop were both a pleasure. ¶ The trees about the city are really at their most gorgeous stage right now and the colors of brown, gold and red sparkle in the bright sunlight. When I head over the hill and down towards the bike trail the view is breathtaking. All the trees along the river are doing their best to cheer everyone. ¶ This was chemo week beginning with a CT scan on Monday morning. According to my oncologist there is nothing new, meaning there are no new lesions showing up in the pictures and the old lesions are static. It is best to keep checking because my type of cancer can spread just about anywhere at any time. The chemo seems to be keeping it under control, which is the good news. ¶ All of the chemo sessions began promptly. There was no long wait for the pharmacy to deliver the goods via TUG. TUG the robot was all decorated for Hallowe’en. I doubt she will be let loose to go trick or treating tomorrow evening, however. I expect next that she will be sporting Thanksgiving themed decorations. Whatever the staff does to insert some humor into a place in the hospital where the focus is on cancer is a welcome thing. That is just one more example of the excellent professionals that serve the cancer patients do to make what could be a grim and foreboding place a place of healing and light.

¶ Miss Sophia the cat seems to have reconciled herself to the fact that I am back home to stay. She has been extraordinarily cuddly. I like cuddly kitties so that’s fine with me. She has a game she wants to play every morning right after my shower. She attempts to capture a string which I try to keep away from her. When she tires of the game I can get on with my day. Often the signal that the game is over is Sophia sprawled on her back with the definite look that says “I’m tired of this!” ¶ Thanks for your prayers and thoughts and good wishes. Thank you for reading. Thank you for all you do for others. You are a blessing.

Over Before it Begins

The pilgrimage, about which I wrote last week, continued with a journey to Algoma for Sunday Eucharist at St. Agnes by the Lake. A friend of mine is the priest there and it has become a tradition to go there for Sunday. We enjoyed lunch with him before heading into Door County.

¶ We headed for Sister Bay and had been warned that their fall festival was taking place. This involved blocking off the streets, parking far from the “main drag.” There were numerous PortaPotties, bouncy houses, vendors, and party goers. All Johnson’s restaurant is famous for its turf roof complete with goats. The goats were not present. We were told it was too cold for goats. Who knew?

¶ After dealing with our disappointment, goat wise, we traveled to Sturgeon Bay to spend the night. Waterfront Mary’s was the chosen place for dinner where we got involved with the famous Door County fish boil. The cooking is an outdoor event. The night was a beautiful with a lovely moon shining over the water. ¶ The next morning we visited the Maritime Museum and then headed for Austin, Minnesota. Following the hotel breakfast our next stop was the Spam Museum. It really is a fascinating place especially when one was raised on Spam as a young person. Then it was a fairly short trip to Sioux Falls. It seems like the pilgrimage was over before it began. ¶ The fall colors were not spectacular this year, yet. Door County had some pretty scenes. Even though the pilgrimage is the same time every year, the fall color varies widely. I’ve yet to receive a firm answer on why that is. The weather was excellent while we were away. The temperatures were above average over the weekend. ¶ The welcome home from the resident cat was interesting. She seemed to want attention but her essential catness prevented her from being too welcoming. The look was more like “you’ve been away, and now you’re back, big deal.” The next day, however, the need for attention was desperate. Sophia even took up residence in the suitcase in case I had any thoughts about leaving her behind again.

¶ The rest of the week flew by quickly. I attended an interesting OLLI class on cults which provided enough information to make one uncomfortable in the current time. ¶ Today I saw the live HD stream from the Metropolitan Opera. It was a new opera and the first one by a Black composer with an all Black cast. “Fire Shut Up in My Bones” is based on the early life of Charles Blow, a columnist for the New York Times. Jazz makes up part of the score. The “step dance” is amazing. It was a worthwhile afternoon, for sure. ¶ When Monday comes I will have yet another CT scan, visit with the doctor and begin my week of chemotherapy. I know that all will go well. I don’t seem to have as much anxiety about the CT scan as I do the MRI. For one thing, it’s considerably more comfortable and is not noisy. The doctor will share the results when I see him Monday afternoon. ¶ Thank you for your prayers and thoughts. Thank you for all your kindnesses to me and to others.

On the Road Again

Here. I am in Wisconsin! Travel, which used to seem so natural, now seems like such an exotic adventure. The whole experience of packing, the decisions about what to take and leave behind felt like a strange and different occurrence. It almost felt like I’d not done the whole preparation/packing thing before.

¶ Sophia cat is not used to the packing procedure. Previous feline occupants had plenty of practice in panic mode upon the sight of a suitcase. It’s not that they were not cared for while I was away. I think it’s the fear of not having someone at their immediate beck and call. The report is that Sophia is coping well. It will be interesting to see how she acts upon my return. ¶ The old song said “What a difference a day makes.” I should write new lyrics beginning with “What a difference two years makes.” Two years ago, friends and I made the pilgrimage to the Shrine of Our Lady of Walsingham in Sheboygan, WI. I’ve been attending with various groups since 1991. The current group has been attending for five or so years. The cancelling of the pilgrimage was such a disappointment last year.

¶ This year, friends from Colorado drove to Sioux Falls and added me to their car. On Thursday we drove from Sioux Falls to Sheboygan (500 miles). Another friend from North Carolina met up with us at the hotel. ¶ Yesterday we went to Holy Hill, always an experience. Since it was the feast of St. Theresa of Avila, the patroness of the friary there, the service was celebrated with great solemnity. ¶ Many years ago I was in Avila arriving on this very day, the 16th of October, and the remnants of the celebration there were still visible. It was good to recall those memories of the first trip abroad following retirement.

¶ Today was a bit cool but bright and sunny for the procession around the block led by the statue of Our Lady of Walsingham. As always, the flowers are spectacular. The services today were beautiful. The people at the church were thrilled that pilgrims attended. It will be some time before many people are willing to travel again and the pilgrimage will regain its normal numbers, but it is a start. ¶ Tomorrow we will travel northward and take in a bit of Door County. Monday and Tuesday will be travel days back to Sioux Falls. We will cover lots of miles, and my Colorado friends many more before they return to their home. ¶ The South Dakota scandal of the week was revealed in the newspaper. The Majority Leader of the state senate had a son. Said son has a business. Son has received hundreds of thousands of dollars in South Dakota COVID relief funds and Paycheck Protection Program funds to keep his business afloat. All of this sounds perfectly legal and transparent. The only slight problem is that his business is in Texas! Ooops. ¶ We have a reputation and we are keeping it up in grand style. One only wonders what can come up next in the nefarious affairs of state government. There will be another, I’m sure. ¶ I’m feeling well and keeping up with my friends in hill-climbing, social activities, and things ecclesiastical. I’m grateful that I’m able to do it. ¶ Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I’m grateful for the constant prayers for me offered here at the Shrine everyday. We pray for safe travels home again.

Autumn Leaves

There is an old song which comes into my mind every October or November. It was one my mother’s favorites. That song is entitled “Autumn Leaves.” It begins: “The falling leaves drift by my window, The falling leaves of red and gold.”

¶ That is exactly what is happening right now in this part of the world. My driveway is completely covered with leaves from the ash tree and there are many more waiting to fall. My neighbor’s tree is one of those producing brilliant red leaves. They are starting to change and it won’t be long before it is stunning. One of the delights of the season is the cooler weather and the chance to take walks through the rustling leaves. It’s a beautiful season. ¶ It is not often that one can anxiously await the next issue of the Sioux Falls Argus Leader. As a newspaper it is wonderful for enabling naps or starting fires in appropriate places. Recently, however, we look for news of the next scandal to involve our fair city or state. ¶ As it was reported this week, Sioux Falls is one of the largest tax havens. Billions of dollars are sequestered in trust accounts right here in river city. The Cayman Islands, Switzerland, or some other far away location usually are the places where the wealthy hide their money. Sioux Falls ranks right up there with the exotica of the world. Who knew?

¶ There is always a juicy tidbit or two coming forth from our state capitol concerning the governor or the attorney general or someone else involved in the government of the state. Currently our governor, who just received her bachelor’s degree in recent history, is on a campaign to dictate the kinds of student services provided at our state schools. She wants to wipe out Diversity Centers because she fears they are spreading information that is not far right-wing enough politically.

¶ What’s next? Who knows? There will be something, guaranteed. When the state government is ranked as one of the most corrupt in the nation we just have to wait for the next shoe to fall. ¶ Having this week off from chemo is almost like a vacation. I’ve felt well and have had some time to enjoy some freedom of choice in my tasks of the week. ¶ There is a neighborhood cat who is given the freedom to roam. This is never a good idea. Cars on the street and cats crossing same is an item of concern. Said cat did pay a visit to our deck yesterday. It was not greeted kindly by Sophia. Growls caused the interloper to leave. Sophia ran from door to window to door to make sure her property was safe. It was some time before she could resume her nap and feel secure. ¶ Thanks for reading, for thinking about me, for praying and for all you do for others. I’ll be traveling towards the end of next week but hopefully will post the adventures next Saturday.