Wednesday, August 14.

I guess it’s Wednesday today.  This is turning into a long week. Here’s what I know.

Day begins early and spent most of the day waiting for reports from the liver biopsy.  Meanwhile sodium continues to get better, which is a good sign.  Several good visitors.  Finally the oncologist arrives about 7 PM and announces that the biopsy results are Stage 4 small cell lung cancer already spread to the liver.  He explained that each cell will continue to spread and the prognosis for no intervention is 3 -5 months! Can we say that is practically tomorrow all of a sudden? He is really kind and explains the options. The upside is that they can begins with the initial steps while I’m here in the hospital which will allow a faster turn-round time but most of the time will be spent as an outpatient. That will give me 4-5 years. Treatable but not curable! I’ve told them to begin. Hope it’s the correct decision. Pray for me.

Tuesday, August 13

It’s only Tuesday but it certainly doesn’t feel like the day after yesterday.  I think it is closer to a week’s of time passing.  On Monday early afternoon the nurse called and told me to check into the hospital immediately.  I told her I had an appointment with the trust officer at 3:00 and I would check in after that was completed.  She said I need to go immediately. So I did.

It turns out my sodium was “critically low.”  A room was available without a delay and the work -ups began. Prep started for a lower abdomen CT scan which involved drinking two pints of liquid and dye right after I was told no more liquid for the day. It washes out the sodium.  Then the prep began for the biopsy.  Following that the spots on the liver and lung were confirmed as cancer. The rest of night was spent in an attempt to sleep in spite the constant visits of the “vampires” who insisted on depriving me of my  bodily fluids. After a long morning’s wait I was finally transported to imaging for the biopsy.  That confirmed that the liver “spots” were malignant. They have really good drugs down there, I will attest to that.  Finally got some rest!

Now it was to determine the treatment. The liver was chosen as the organ of diagnosis because those spots probably received the malignant cells from the lung. Now the next process is develop the plan of treatment. 

Now that I process this and have learned more about the dangers of low sodium I think that might have been the source of my complaints last autumn - shortness of breath after light activity, and a few other things that led to the full cardiac work-up I had last November? 

Anyway, sodium was still very low and finally moved out of the critical range this afternoon. That is the greatest concern right now is the slow sodium. Every one of the symptoms I’ve experienced is one of those related to side effects of low sodium.

Now we wait prepared for another long period of evaluation and prescription.

More news from today.

Here’s the latest news.  Nurse called this morning and asked that I come in for another blood panel.and urinalysis  The CT scan last Friday showed a spot on my lung and on my liver. She’s making an appointment with an oncologist. Haven’t been notified of that date yet. I’ve made appointments with my attorney and trust department to go over some things that I should have done a few years or more ago. There comes a time when my procrastination catches up with me! Again, thanks for your support and prayers. Doctor thinks I need to go in for a biopsy. Sodium has gone down from last week.

A different journey.

A different journey.

I’m used to updating this blog at the end of the year so that  you can find out what is happening or has happened in lieu of a Christmas Letter.

There is something going on right now which is of interest to some friends so I will try to update more often. This will help since I’ll not have repeat the same information.

For the past three weeks or so I’ve been experiencing a vague feeling of anxiety, lack of balance and inability to concentrate. It was time for my annual visit to the doctor so I decided to bring all of this up for discussion.  My main concern was the onset of Alzheimers which was my father’s malady. Would I have to sell my home and deal with all the “stuff” I’ve accumulate over the past 30+ years? It seems one always expands to fit the available storage space, which is exactly what I’ve done.

I was supposed to play for church last Sunday and tomorrow. I informed the music director I was not able to play so he found another to do that task. That greatly relieved my anxiety. I don’t know why I should be nervous about playing a few hymns on the electronic keyboard but that was evidently part of my angst.

When I was practicing a couple of very easy pieces I would take a measure that obviously was not up to snuff and practice that as I have learned to do from my teachers. I’d return to the same piece and it was like I was sight reading. No improvement due to my concentrated work on the difficult measures.                                                        

The doctor sent me for a blood panel after which he called and informed me that everything was normal except for low sodium.  Interesting that most people my age discover the opposite to be the case. He asked me to return the next day for another panel which showed the same thing. 

He explained to me that the pituitary gland is one that helps regulate the sodium level so there could be a problem there. Off I went on Wednesday for an MRI on that gland and my brain stem. That revealed nothing abnormal. When the nurse called with the results the next day she told me I needed to come in for a chest x-ray which, being an obedient patient, I did. She called me back that afternoon and told me the x-ray showed no change from my last one but the doctor wanted to wait for the radiologist’s interpretation wherein he found a small shadow on my left upper lung not present in the previous x-ray.

So I was referred for a CT scan which happened on Friday. I assume I’ll hear about that on Monday given the weekend activities. 

So, it’s been a medical test every day of this week. I’m used to seeing the doctor once each year making this quite a change!

I’ll post more when I know more. Thanks for reading this.

The Year: 2018

Another year has literally flown by.  A friend once explained this rapid passage of time mathematically. It seems as we age that each year goes by more quickly and it is true since each year is a smaller portion of our total life span. 

Charming fountain at a gallery in Sedona

It is a gift to have another year of life. I really am so gratefully that I have virtually no health problems. Part of this year’s pilgrimage has been to experience the ins and outs of medical doctors’ offices and the necessity of speaking up for oneself or having an advocate to do that for you.

I acquired an infection this spring which lasted throughout the summer. The first three medical professionals misdiagnosed the infection and prescribed medication that did not do anything to improve my health. Finally, the correct antibiotic was prescribed for a period long enough to eradicate the infection. 

I’d also been experiencing some shortness of breath after exertion and some mild chest pains which opened up another whole field of inquiry.  It turns out that there are no cardiac problems. A stress test, echo cardiogram, angiogram, and CT scans have proved that.  

My take on the situation is that I had not been keeping up on my usual exercise routine because I felt lousy due to the infection and the antibiotics. Therefore, at my age, shortness of breath. I think the pains were due to rather obtuse working habits which stressed some muscles not usually involved in day to day living.

The bottom line is: I’m healthy.

For the second year in a row there has not been much travel.  I must be honest and say that staying home is not all bad. It really is much easier not to travel.

Interesting formations at Bluff, Utah

I’d given up membership in one organization, and rotated off the board of another which involved travel each year, many times to the east coast. I do miss that biennial trip to New York City. My non- presence on the board does not prevent me from going, but the impetus to do so is no longer there. 

The first weekend in February I journeyed to Tempe, AZ, for the annual general chapter of the Canons of the Order of Saint Benedict. This year Fr. Chad-Joseph and his community hosted the gathering. We were able to learn about the various ministries with which the community there is involved. We celebrated the clothing of a novice. The priors were able to meet and discuss several items of mutual interest. The weather was lovely which was an added benefit.

A friend and I traveled to Minneapolis for an event on the First Sunday of Lent at Mount Olive Church.  I written before about how fond I am of that place. They do a lovely service of procession, readings and hymns on the First Sunday in Lent. 

Traveling to Minneapolis was fine.  It was a lovely winter day.  The return on the next day was far less than pleasant. Sleet began the day which changed to freezing rain and snow with winds. This continued to within 40 miles of Sioux Falls.  I gave thanks continually for my new tires and for the daylight in which we traveled. I kept thinking that the only thing that could make the journey home worse would be darkness!

The chapel at Christ in the Desert

At the invitation of my wonderful friends in Littleton, Colorado, I flew to Denver. We then embarked on a road trip through parts of the world I’d not traveled before.  We had beautiful weather traveling through the mountains heading toward Scottsdale, Arizona. On the way we stayed overnight at Bluff, Utah. The rock formations were awesome. 

We spent a week at my friends’ timeshare in Scottsdale. This was a most pleasant “retreat.” We traveled to Eloy to see friends from my former parish in Denver. A day in Sedona was also in our plans. The whole week was a wonderful experience, plus we were able to go to Fr. Chad-Joseph’s Church in Tempe for Sunday Mass and then enjoy a brunch with Fr. Chad and two of his sons.

Following our stay in Arizona we raveled eastward to New Mexico. We had a weekend reserved at the Monastery of Christ in the Desert. Several of the parishioners from the parish in Denver had been there on retreat and told me how lovely and peaceful it is. They were not exaggerating. 

The Monastery is thirteen miles off the highway on a forest service road which sometimes is two lane and sometimes graveled. I leave the description of it to your imagination.  The silence and the darkness are incredible. They are “off the grid” and use solar power so there is not even the sound of a generator. The chapel is beautiful. One can see the rock formations from within the chapel.

After a few days in Denver making contact with dear friends I returned home and basically remained there until October. We had a very warm summer. It was good to have friends from Denver come to visit.

Three of the pilgrims

October means our annual pilgrimage to Sheboygan to the first shrine of Our Lady of Walsingham. Friends from Denver and Charlotte, NC, flew to Sioux Falls. The road trip is fun. We were able to visit Holy Hill, and the Shrine of Our Lady of Good Help, attend Mass on Sunday at St. Agnes, Algoma and see our friends there, stop by the Norbertine Abbey, and journey through some snow as we headed back west via St. Paul and Minneapolis. It is always good to see my friends and to travel together.

Makarios and Miss Sophia

I made a few trips out of town to attend funerals. Other than those brief sojourns that’s the extent of the travels this year. Life has been busy with my volunteer activities, the Canon Community, filling in at the altar and on the organ bench. 

All of us at 3316 send our greetings and best wishes for a blessed and peaceful holiday. 

2017, Mostly at Home

For someone who seems to be on an eternal pilgrimage, this year has been one of quietly enjoying home. In contrast to most years my travels have been brief and seldom.

Winter in South Dakota can be a difficult pilgrimage. It amazes me each year that dressing to go outside can consume as much time as it does. The question arises: Do I have enough clothing on my body to feel comfortable in the house? How much more do I need to add if I am going outside?  Do I need a down filled parka, or will a leather jacket do? Where is my stocking cap? Do I need my thigh-high boots or will hiking shoes suffice? And then, there is the removal of all of this upon reaching one’s destination, and the reclothing when one decides to return home. Some day I will time all this and tuck away this important information. It won’t change anything, I know, but at least I will know. About the middle of February I long for the summer days when a t-shirt and shorts will do for the journey to the fitness center!

Christ Cathedral in Victoria, BC

One of the few pilgrimages this year took place in February. The priors of the Anglican Benedictine Canons met for their annual meeting in Victoria, B.C.  It was wonderful to see Fr. Martin-Joseph Brokenleg, Br. Gene and the community in Victoria. Fr. Chad-Joseph and Br. Phillip-Martin from Tempe, AZ joined us there. Fr. Martin had arranged a complete day of teaching and prayer in the Benedictine tradition. Fr. Chad-Joseph, Fr. Martin-Joseph and I provided the teaching and facilitated the discussions as thirty people participated in the experience of being a Benedictine for a day. The hospitality was gracious. The venue was the Anglican Cathedral in Victoria, a lovely building. During the priors’ meeting I was chosen as prior-general of our communities. Our former prior-general and his community had departed the Anglican Church and become Roman Catholics. It is not a position that I sought but accepted as part of my own personal pilgrimage which sometimes involves being led where we sought not to go.

Priors of the Anglican Benedictine Canons

During the weekend there was a music festival taking place and the Cathedral participated in that festival by providing the choir and orchestra for Evensong on Sunday. I was able to stay an extra day and enjoy the city and some time with my friends.

The Benedictine Oratory

I completed my time as supply priest at a local parish which provided a place for our Benedictine community. We needed a place to be and, thankfully, our cathedral church provided that place. The Bishop of South Dakota moved his offices to Pierre which left a good deal of space formerly occupied by the diocesan offices at the cathedral. The dean graciously offered us a room which we have been converting into our Oratory and Chapter Room. It has come together very nicely and we appreciate having a place to meet for our weekly Eucharist and monthly Chapter Meeting.

Max sunbathing

Friends and I traveled to Collegeville, MN, and Minneapolis for a weekend in July. They had never been to St. John’s Abbey. I am always happy to return to the Abbey having visited many times and taken several courses and workshops there. We were able to attend the Sunday liturgy at Mt. Olive Lutheran in Minneapolis which is always a superb experience. We also shopped at IKEA. On our return we visited Faribault to see the exterior of the first cathedral in America. We had to experience the interior by looking through the windows since the doors were locked.

That same weekend my dear Max was in the hospital suffering from many things. As we were on our way to Collegeville the phone call came informing me that he had died.  His immune mitigated hemolytic anemia had returned. He was suffering from a kidney stone and acute renal failure and finally pneumonia after receiving fluids to relieve his dehydration. We miss him. As all who knew him said, he was such a sweet kitty. 

Our Benedictine Community assumed the management of the cathedral bookstore during this past year.  Part of that responsibility is taking car loads of books and “stuff” to diocesan convention in Pierre, which we did on the last weekend in September. The convention is considerably more brief than in former years when the planning of the liturgies fell on the shoulders of my diocesan commission. It is always good to see the faithful friends from around the diocese. Thirty-five children from the Sudanese community here in Sioux Falls at my former parish traveled to Pierre and performed at the convention.  It was so good to see them taking part.

Dignity

Since I had not traveled across South Dakota in recent history until convention weekend, a stop at Chamberlin was necessary so that I could see the beautiful statue at the top of the hill. Dale Lamphere, an artist from Sturgis, fashioned the wonderful creation called “Dignity.” It is a huge and beautiful depiction of a Native American woman. Check it out: https://www.travelsouthdakota.com/explore-with-us/spotlights/dignity-earth-sky

The spires of the basilica at Holy Hill

The annual pilgrimage to Sheboygan, Wisconsin, to the first shrine of Our Lady of Walsingham in America takes place in October. Friends from Denver flew to Sioux Falls and drove with me to Wisconsin. It is always a trip full of spiritual experiences and fun times. Our entire Benedictine Community and some friends were also able to attend giving us a total of 10 present at the pilgrimage.  We also visited St. Agnes by the Lake in Algoma, the Shrine of Our Lady of Good Help in Champion, WI, Holy Hill in Hubertus, WI, and the Shine of Our Lady of Guadalupe and the Franciscan Sisters mother house in LaCrosse, WI.  It was a joy-filled week of prayer and reunion with dear friends.

View from the doorway.

To complete the pilgrimages for the year, my friend Craig invited me to spend a week in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.  We’ve been there several times.  It is totally relaxing to sit on the beach with a good book, take a walk in the beautiful sand and eat at some fantastic restaurants. It is a true pilgrimage of refreshment.

View from the terrace

The resort in which we stayed, however, was in the midst of destruction/construction. The view from our front door was not the best. The giant jack-hammer used to accomplish the destruction was in operation most of the day.  It could not be heard at the beach, thankfully. The view from our patio was much more pleasant.

Cabo dressed for Christmas

Coming from South Dakota it was amusing to see the Christmas decorations complete with snowflakes! One wonders if the natives have any idea of what a snowflake is, other than decoration.

Sophia surveying her domain

Following my return from Mexico, Sophia came to live with us.  She is a beautiful cat still acclimating to the household and coming to terms with Makarios, who has been resident here for 16 years and is convinced that he owns the place. Sophia came from a rescue shelter to be a companion for a resident at Dow Rummel Village. Shortly after her arrival her new mistress had to move to full nursing care. Sophia lived by herself (with care) in the apartment for a time until it was determined that the nursing placement was permanent. She then moved in with another resident who offered her to me. So, she has had a least four different homes in, what is thought to be, three years.

I’m awaiting a new set of lenses so that I can see more clearly. It’s the first change in my prescription that I’ve had in more than 10 years.  I guess I’m due for that. My health is very good. I enjoy singing in the choir at the cathedral, some supply work at the altar from time to time, being a substitute organist and being with my Benedictine community.

Thanks for letting me share my year with you.  Blessings and prayers for, hopefully, a peaceful 2018.

The Year: 2016

2016 was quite a year, was it not?

The first usual pilgrimage of the year has been to Minneapolis to attend a workshop at Mt. Olive Lutheran Church. They bring in some stellar speakers for these events which center around liturgy and music.   This year they decided to evaluate the program and skip the January event until they decide on a new format or remodel the existing. It was a disappointment but a trip to Minneapolis in January can be a weather event. So far we’ve been lucky making this pilgrimage, but there is always the first time!

The winter months fill up rapidly with OLLI classes. We have an active OLLI (Osher Life Long Learning Institute) program here. They offer a wide variety of short term classes with excellent teachers and no tests. Some classes are just a one session two hour event.  Others might meet once each week for four weeks. I’ve had few disappointments along with many rewards and have learned many things. 

Since I was once again un-retired there were twice weekly pilgrimages to the Church of the Good Shepherd where I served as supply priest almost every Sunday. It was a pleasure to serve them while they searched for a new rector. It was also a pleasure not to have to drive out of town on Sunday mornings, especially when the weather can be a bit nasty or really nasty, as the case may be.

The South Dakota Symphony performs a concert nearly every month. Saint Joseph’s Cathedral has an arts program which is excellent and provides several concerts each season. Both Calvary Cathedral and First Congregational have arts programs with several concerts. The hi-def broadcasts of the Metropolitan Opera are superb. These musical events fill up the calendar quite nicely and each concert provides another pilgrimage experience.

During March our Benedictine Community here hosted the meeting of all the priors. These pilgrims came from Victoria, B.C., Brandon, Manitoba, and Tempe, Arizona. It was the first time we had all gathered together and it was a wonderful time, although too brief. 

With our friend Victor in Cabo San Lucas

After seeing the church community at Good Shepherd through Holy Week and Easter, a pilgrimage to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, was a welcome break. My traveling companion and high school friend Craig has a time-share there and graciously invited me to meet him there. It’s always a relaxing time and was even more so after the hustle and bustle of Easter in a parish setting. We didn’t do much aside from eating, reading, and relaxing on the beach. Nice!

One of my Denver friends!

The very end of April was the first pilgrimage to Denver for this year. The national meeting of the Society of Mary was being hosted by the parish I had served in Denver. Going to that meeting provided an opportunity to stay at the new home of close friends whose marriage I had solemnized. It was an opportunity to see many friends from my time in Denver. I enjoyed the reunions. Since I was coming to Denver the weather took the opportunity to snow for four days. Once again the prediction was proved true: when I come to Denver or leave therefrom it snows.  Nevertheless, the parish did a lovely job of hosting the meeting although the weather prevented any visitors from even seeing the mountains from a distance let alone traveling into same.

In the middle of May, the annual pilgrimage to Salina, Kansas, for the chapter meeting of the Society of the Holy Cross took place.  There was no snow, thankfully.  It is always good to see the brethren again for this yearly get together.

The second week of June brought the annual Dakota Sky Piano event. This is conceived and organized by one of my former choir boys. He brings in brilliant pianists for a series of recitals, master classes, and workshops. It is a great gift to the community.

Following Dakota Sky the second Denver pilgrimage took place to attend the ordination to the permanent diaconate of one of my former parishioners whom I had encouraged to enter the ordination process. He had requested that I be one of his presenters. No snow this time! Rather, on the day of the ordination, the temperature approached 100 as we entered the non-airconditioned cathedral. There were celebrations surrounding the event and more opportunities to spend time with friends. The ordination took place on Saturday. On the following Sunday, the rector gave me the honor of celebrating the sung mass with the newly ordained deacon assisting. I also blessed the new home of my friends in Littleton where I was again given housing for all the festivities.

Relaxing in Omaha

In August, my friend Craig came to visit for three weeks. During that time we made several pilgrimages to Omaha, to Mitchell (to see the “world’s only” Corn Palace and the archeological dig, to Fargo and Morehead and to Minneapolis and St. Paul. We had a good time and Craig was able to see some things he had never experienced when living in South Dakota way back when.

Brunch with Denver friends.

In September the third pilgrimage to Denver took place. No snow once again! Our chapter of the Society of the Holy Cross hosted the national synod at St. Michael and All Angels. Brethren from across the United States came in for the meeting. Again, it was great to see friends that I only see at that yearly meeting. As with any national meeting with which one is in charge, it is also nice when it is over and the last one in attendance leaves town.

October is the month of annual pilgrimage to the Shrine of Our Lady of Walsingham in Sheboygan, Wisconsin.  Three friends from Denver flew to Sioux Falls and rode with me to the pilgrimage. Two others flew to Milwaukee from Denver and met us in Sheboygan. Other members and friends of my Benedictine Community traveled to the pilgrimage. We enjoyed meeting together once again and seeing old friends that constantly attend the event. It is a lovely weekend in the midst of the prime time for autumn colors in Wisconsin. 

The two rulers of the house.

In the midst of all this traveling to and fro, Max, my younger cat, was diagnosed with a kidney stone and with other G.I. problems. One vet said a stone in a cat’s kidney seldom moves so it really doesn’t cause any pain. He’s gained back the weight he lost and more! After trying several different regimes for the other problem it just stopped one day out of the clear blue. Makarios, the elder of the two felines, was diagnosed with diabetes. After several months we are still working on getting his blood sugar stabilized. He doesn’t mind the insulin shots twice each day. He’s not really keen on the bi-weekly visits to the vet to test his blood. 

At the end of October, a friend and I made the pilgrimage to Minneapolis to Mt. Olive Church for an event they dubbed a Manztage. Paul Manz, a great organist and composer, was the cantor in this church. In his honor the church hosts this event from time to time. There were lovely liturgies, a hymn festival and wonderful speakers. My Mt. Olive pilgrimage was fulfilled. It was considerably warmer than January in Minnesota. A very moving weekend.

The Capitol in San Juan, Puerto Rico.

December was the time for my retirement from church again. It also was the time for a cruise on the Eastern Caribbean with my friend Craig. The nine day cruise was very relaxing. The ports visited (Tortola, Turks and Caicos, St. Martin) were not particularly exciting. We’d exit the ship, walk around a bit and return to the ship. San Juan, Puerto Rico, was an exception. It was interesting walking around Old San Juan. We meet some interesting people on the ship. Our dining companions were very pleasant. The entertainment was outstanding. The weather, except for one afternoon was excellent. It was a nice “retirement” cruise. We returned on December 23, just in time to be home for Christmas. 

It was a great year, in spite of all the awful politics, filled with wonderful memories of places and friends. 

Right now it is 2 degrees here with wind chills around -15. It would feel really good to be back on the cruise ship with temps in the 80s and 90s.