I can see even better!

Today, January 25,  is known in the Church as the feast of the Conversion of Saint Paul.  It commemorates the event reported in Acts when Paul (or as he was then known, Saul) was knocked off his horse and struck blind, which caused him to give up his persecution of Christians and become one of the pillars of the Church.

In speaking with people over the years who have undergone a conversion experience, some have commented that it was a “knock off the horse” event.  Others have said it was a gradual, quiet process of coming to know they are on the right path. When I read a comment on faith this week it struck me that I’ve had a quiet reassurance throughout this current illness that everything will be okay. There has been a notable absence of anxiety about what comes next. There has been a peaceful recognition that I am in good hands. I’m grateful for that. Being anxious probably does not help the healing process!

The cataract surgery is complete.  On Thursday my right eye got its new lens. Vision is still a little foggy but I am aware that each day my vision is more clear.  The technology and speed with which the whole process is accomplished is amazing. Also amazing is the number of people in the waiting room.  It would be interesting to know how many patients pass through that ophthalmic clinic each day. With nine doctors on the staff I am sure the statistics would be amazing.

This coming week I’ll return to my optometrist for a check-up to make sure there is no infection and then a few weeks later receive a new prescription for my lenses. It’s wonderful to be able to see clearly again, even though I have a little struggle with which part of my trifocals is the best for any given task.

The week has been a rather lazy time.  The cataract surgery prevents me from some of the exercise to which I am accustomed. The schedule of appointments interfere with some of my usual activities. It appears that little regard is made for the agenda of persons of my age.  Those who make the appointments evidently assume I have nothing else to do. I detect some strange reactions when I announce that I am not available at a certain time. Much of the time it is a look which says “what else are you going to do?” If only they knew!

I have found that it is very easy to sit around, doze off, and basically laze away a whole afternoon. I really don’t want to do that.  There are too many things to read, to see, to ponder. My days have always been very busy. One or two days off seem like a pleasure. More than that seem indulgent. I do need to keep active. I know how far down one can go physically if one does not keep up an active routine. I also know how hard it is to work back up to one’s previously level of activity. I look forward to getting back into the usual routine. I have tried really hard to walk 2 to 3 miles each day. The safest place to do that, given the ice and snow and cold, is at the fitness center. It is also a chance to see and visit with others. I try to take advantage of that every day that I can.

Monday I have CT scans and an MRI. Let’s hope and pray that they show good things are happening inside me. The last scans were positive. I feel these will be also.

Thank you for sharing time with me and for your thoughts and prayers.

I Can See!

There are lots of healing miracles in the Gospel accounts of our Lord’s life. They are all successful. I suppose that it would not be appropriate to report any unsuccessful attempts at healing, if indeed there were any. The healings all take place because the “patient” put his/her full trust in the healer “Jesus.”

When you think about it we do the same thing when we put our trust in what our doctors prescribe for us.  We know they are not God but we have confidence in their education, their training, and their reputation.

One way of using scripture as a “prayer tool” is to put oneself into the story we are reading. I had a chance to do that on Tuesday. My friend and I battled the insane traffic at 7:30 AM to get to Ophthamology, Ltd for the removal of the cataract in my left eye.  (Where are all these people going at that hour of the morning?) Since my chemotherapy began my eyesight began to change and it was difficult for me to see clearly. I’m told that chemo can cause cataracts to blossom. I’m also told that age plays a part and that everyone needs cataract surgery sooner or later. I guess I have a choice as to where to lay the blame.

The staff at Ophthamology, Ltd has this whole procedure down pat! We arrived at 8 and I was home by 9:15. My follow up was Tuesday afternoon when the doctor removed the shield and told me my vision would be much better the next day.  And it was! For the first time in months I could see clearly with my left eye. What a miracle! 

Now I am anxious for Thursday to arrive so my right eye can have the same procedure. A few days later I’ll be able to visit the optometrist and get the prescription for my new lenses. I am really anxious to have all this completed.

Last Sunday was the annual Epiphany Pageant at the Cathedral. It’s always entertaining for the cast is children, for the most part. During the pageant one of the sheep wandered off, and we also discovered the baby Jesus knew how to blow raspberries! It was delightful.

Winter has come upon us full force with six inches of snow yesterday and blizzard warnings today. Both I 90 and I 29 are partially closed. A sure sign of nasty weather is the closing of the Empire Mall which occurred last night. Today we just waited for the plows and the snow people (as I refer to those who come and shovel). 

Having cabin fever caused by the fact that one cannot leave when one wants to do so, I thought of some supplies I needed from the grocery store so I ventured out.  The streets were fine, a little icy in spots because the city hasn’t sprinkled the grit and salt yet. I did get stuck in the driveway entrance upon my return. One of the kindly neighbors came over to help. His push allowed me to get into the garage. I’ll have to remember to take a longer run when I next return home.

A good thing that happened was the garage door returning to normal operation. It has been going up about 3 inches and then stopping. If one helps it up it is fine.  I was getting a little tired of leaving the car when returning home, going up the driveway, entering the garage and helping the door up. Garage door openers are supposed to eliminate all that. I had a passing notion about calling the repair persons next week. Now I do not have to do that. Another miracle perhaps?

Everything else continues to go well. I’m becoming fairly proficient with the prescribed eye drops. For the first few applications they qualified more as “cheek drops.” I’m grateful for all my blessings. Thanks once more for all your support and prayers. 

I good friend wrote me about his frustration of never having enough time even though he recently retired.  I know that is a common comment of retired persons. The Henri Nouwen meditation for today speaks to the situation in which many find themselves.

“It strikes me increasingly just how hard-pressed people are nowadays. It’s as though they’re tearing about from one emergency to another. Never solitary, never still, never really free but always busy about something that just can’t wait. You get the impression that, amid this frantic hurly-burly, we lose touch with life itself. We have the experience of being busy while nothing real seems to happen. The more agitated we are, and the more compacted our lives become, the more difficult it is to keep a space where God can let something truly new really take place.

The discipline of the heart helps us to let God into our hearts so that God can become known to us there, in the deepest recesses of our own being.”

It’s January!

Yes, indeed, it’s January and in South Dakota that means cold.  Actually it is just the last few days that have been cold.  We’ve had a fairly decent winter temperature wise.  As one looks at the weather map one sees that the eastern part of the country is faring much worse.  From tornadoes to rain to ice to snow they are receiving what we are lucky enough to miss.

Tuesday I had my pre-op physical for the cataract surgery.  Then I had time to get in a couple of miles of walking before returning to the Avera campus for my blood work and infusion.  Blood work was fine, according to the nurse, and the robots are back at work so the medicine was delivered promptly. I was in and out in two hours! Very nice I say.

Wednesday was take care of the car day. For those of you who do not have them one of the lifesavers on late model cars is the “side approach warning.” If someone is attempting to pass you on either side and they are lurking in your blind-spot a light appears in your outside rear view mirror warning you not to change lanes.  I love this feature and it has literally saved my life more than once. As the “book” says, do not depend on these warning features entirely. Well, if they are there you begin to depend on them.

Last Thursday when I was backing out of the garage the message appeared on the dash “side approach indicator warning needs service.” Oh, joy. This is the fourth time that I’ve received that message, twice for the right side and twice for the left. I called for an appointment. The earliest opportunity was Wednesday morning. As the sun was rising I’m off to the other side of the city where the Chevrolet dealership dwells. I intended to wait for the vehicle. There were a couple of other anomalies in the vehicle’s electronic system which seemed to have righted themselves but I wanted them checked.  I was advised to take a ride home since they would need the car for observation for “a while.”

The phone call came. “Chevrolet has come up with a fix for the problem which you’ve encountered four times. It involves replacing both modules with better insulated devices, and a new wiring harness. Oh, and your extended warranty expired on January 1, and you need a new battery.” So much news, so many dollars! All was accomplished, my pocket was emptied, the courtesy car returned to ferry me to my newly repaired vehicle and I was on my way to the Pavilion for my usual Wednesday gig.

After returning home I spent some time (read nap) in the bedroom recliner, cat on the lap purring like crazy. I had a blanket over me but noticed that I was getting colder. My bedroom is open to the lower floor so the heat always rises and it is never cold in the bedroom. But—it was getting there.

I checked the thermostat which said it was heating but it wasn’t. The outside temp was not particularly frigid at this point but the wind was blowing. About 6:00 I decided to bite the bullet and call the furnace repair emergency number. They would be happy to come and repair charging only the emergency fee and overtime charges. So there we are.  The car is repaired, the furnace is repaired and the bills are amassing. I would venture to say that my Wednesday was one expensive day. The total was minuscule compared to that for the immunotherapy drug on Tuesday, but insurance covers that, thank God. Wednesday was all on me.

I did have to miss choir rehearsal whilst waiting for the furnace repair person.  Hopefully what we are singing tomorrow is something I know or can sight read. The rest of the week has been fairly peaceful.  Sophia is very happy the construction crews have moved out of the cul de sac and she can enjoy her squirrels and rabbits in peace and quiet.

I just returned from the South Dakota Symphony concert.  The orchestra plays so very well it is a pleasure to hear them. This evening’s main performance was Ravel’s “Daphnis et Chloe.” 

I hope all went well for you this week. By this time next week I should be able to see with my left eye. I’ll let you know.

Nineteen to Twenty

It doesn’t seem like such a huge step.  Twenty is just one digit more than 19. When it has to do with the new year it takes on more importance.  For some the importance is in the party that sees in the new year.  For others the opportunity to reflect back on the old year and make some changes in their lives for the new year is of importance.

In the days of my youth, such as ten years ago, I thought it necessary to thoroughly celebrate every holiday. I had the vision in my mind of Christmases and New Years long past and what great times they were. It is very true that some of them were great celebrations. Reflecting back I think the great celebrations took so much planning and preparation that I was very happy when it was all over. 

One of my “plans,”  and I use the term loosely, was to have a festive Christmas Eve celebration.  That is when my family gathered together to share the feast and the presents and finally to head off to church. I would seek out those in my parish family who had no other plans or places to go and invite them for dinner. I seemed to have forgotten each year (until I became more wise) that I had a 5:00 Mass and another at 11:00 PM. The festive dinner had to be held in between those time slots. It also meant that while I should have been at home preparing this feast I was busy at Church!  It became a challenge to figure out something festive for dinner that would cook itself while I was at the altar. All the while the festive meal was being enjoyed I was the one occupied by thoughts of the next service. I did enjoy the company but I question whether I really enjoyed the meal or was fully present at the altar at the next service. When I retired (and I use the term loosely) I ceased the entertainment aspect and was able to concentrate on the real celebration of Christmas. I have to admit I enjoy Christmas more in quiet reflection.

Sunday last brought quite a bit of snow. Not as much as the weather prognosticators predicted here, but enough to be messy. It was heavy snow, full of water and slushy. The temperature was such that the water in the snow kept freezing. Trying to clear the sidewalk was not easy as the ice kept forming where one shoveled. Good and kind friends picked me up for church so I wouldn’t have to drive in the mess. Transportation was also provided to our Benedictine Chapter meeting following the services and then home where I remained until Tuesday. The snow people arrived Monday afternoon. The city plows arrived Monday evening. All was well and the world was still rotating!

Following our Benedictine gathering Tuesday evening I went home and stayed until going to the gym for some exercise.  So I spent part of New Year’s Day walking the track at the gym.  There were a surprising number of people there.  I appears that January through March are heavy usage times and then the resolutions people made seem to fade away as so many things do. Beginnings seem to be fairly easy but follow-through not so much. I’ve been to the gym every day this year! The exercise does feel good and it’s really too dangerous to walk outside, not because of the cold but because people do not clear their walks as they are supposed to do. It was a quiet and pleasant entrance into the new year as far as I am concerned.

Several people have asked me what infusion I’m receiving now as immunotherapy. It is called Tecentriq and is a fairly new drug (I’m assuming this because their website thanks the people who participated in the trials) and is specifically for adults with small cell lung cancer. I have another infusion this coming Tuesday so we will find out if it is still doing its job when I have my blood work. I trust it is.

So many people commented on their Christmas cards that I am in their prayers. I just received one yesterday which included a message from a lovely woman, friend, and former parishioner that she had made a personal pilgrimage to Lourdes and prayed for me there. I am so grateful for all the love and support. As I’ve commented before it is what keeps me and others who are desperately ill lifted up and hopeful. 

I never thought I’d be in the midst of cancer treatment when the calendar changed from 19 to 20. I’m grateful that I’m here to continue to enjoy life and all the challenges it brings.