Autumn

It is late October. It is hard to believe that time passes so quickly. A friend once pointed out that as we age each day, each hour, each minute is a smaller percentage of our total time so time seems to pass more quickly.  He told me this when I was in my 30s.  Now that I am considerably older I believe he was right. 

The shorter days bother me because I have what is called SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder).  Those who share this affliction know that absence of sunlight has an effect on us. Last Sunday was a dreary day.  The sun was not seen all day. After singing at the public worship of the Lord I came home and spent the afternoon reading the Sunday New York Times.  I didn’t budge from the chair.

Sophia the cat spent a similar amount of time lazing about.  She’s used to it, however.  I am not.  On Monday when the sun returned I paid the price for my lazy Sunday afternoon.  Time passes more quickly when one is older.  One day of laziness takes its toll physically when one is older.  It was much harder to get back to minimal exercising. Did I learn something? Yes. Don’t sit around all day and do nothing because you will pay the next day!

Even though it’s been a struggle I have maintained my exercise goal, and have returned to the fitness center to attend my classes.  It has been good to get back to a regular schedule.  I also was able to attend an OLLI class on jazz pianists. The church treasurer and I visited the bank and straightened out the Bookstore account switching it from one bank to the one used by the church for its other accounts. I dropped off the draft copies of my new will and powers of attorney and made the appointment for the signing of the new documents which also took place this week. That seemingly monumental task is over and done with. 

Two dear friends spent part of today dealing with the leaves in the driveway which have dropped since last Saturday.  It was the last day for the Farmers’ Market so I had to make a trip there to purchase the last of the vegetables for the season.  I know that everything is available all year in the supermarket, but the seasonal produce somehow tastes much better.

This last visit was somewhat bittersweet.  For many years I’ve participated in what is called a CSA (Consumer Supported Agriculture).  It works this way:  Early in the year we pay an amount of money to the provider who uses our cash to purchase seeds and equipment needed for the coming season, and in return we get a more than equal amount of produce when the crops are harvested. I’ve supported one supplier without fail.  They have been using part of neighbor’s property to grow their vegetables.  Whatever happened, they are no longer able to use that land so they will not be offering their impeccably clean, organically grown vegetables any longer. I will miss them and their produce. I’ve stocked up on some squash, potatoes, onions, shallots and a few other things that will keep for a time. 

After the Market I stopped by a wonderful local bakery run by a former student and his wife. They lived in Paris for a time and brought back what they’ve learned to this fair city.  What they produce is simply fantastic. When I last visited there the former student asked me, as he always does, about how things are going.  I told him about the cancer thing. Today he cancelled my bill exclaiming that my money was no good. What a kind and generous thing to do for this old man.  It touched me deeply. I’ve always been proud of what he and his wife have done. Their younger son has suffered through a life-threatening illness and is now doing well. 

One of the friends who made the pilgrimage last week asked about pictures of the fall colors which she neglected to take on our journey.  It was peak season for colors in Wisconsin but they don’t shine as brightly through the rain drops. I’ll just include some Sioux Falls color in this blog posting. The city is really quite pretty at this time of year. Yesterday and today were good days with brilliant sunshine. 

This is the first of my two week “vacation” from infusions.  I have next week off as well and then will begin immunotherapy for the foreseeable future. I liked very much what a retired nurse told me this week. When I said my cancer was treatable not curable she told me that I will die with it not because of it. Somehow that made me feel much more positive.

Feeling well, friends collecting and bagging leaves, being treated by a former student, visiting with friends are things that have been treasures this week. I hold them in my heart and says thanks to God for all he has done for me.

The Pilgrimage continues

St. Agnes by the Lake

Last Sunday the intrepid pilgrims continued their journey.  One of our traditions is to drive north to Door County to a little town named Algoma for Sunday Mass.  The church is a beautiful little building and is right next to the lake, hence the name St. Agnes by the Lake.  If the water level in the lake does not stop rising it might be renamed St. Agnes in the Lake! The group there has a pot-luck luncheon each Sunday so it’s fun to stay for that and enjoy visiting with friends we see but once each year.  

Then it is back in the car for the short journey to the Shrine of Our Lady of Good Help near the even smaller village of Champion. It is the site of the only officially approved apparition of Our Lady in the USA. Between last year and this they have built a new building which will seat  a large number of people. This will replace the tent they used to set up for large groups. The weather was less than pleasant so we visited the shrine, checked out the gift shop and the new structure and went on our way. 

Our way led to Eau Claire which we reached by 6:00 and was our destination for the evening. The weather alternated between rainstorms, drizzle and a little sunshine. After checking into the hotel we headed out for dinner to a recommended restaurant and enjoyed our meal. Then back to the hotel for needed rest after a busy day.

On Monday we skirted the Twin Cities and arrived in the St. Cloud area in time for lunch at another local color cafe. After sustenance we went on to Collegeville, the home of St. John’s Abbey and University, and Prep School and Seminary.  Needless to say it is quite a place. At one time, and probably still is, it was the largest Abbey in the world. It is noted for its mid-century (20th century of which I speak) modernist architecture.  Marcel Breuer designed the Abbey, the Church, the library and science buildings and some of the dorms. 

One of our goals was to visit the newly expanded exhibit of the St. John’s Bible in a special section of the library. It is beautifully done and very interesting. https://www.saintjohnsbible.org

The St. John’s Bible is the first hand-written Bible since the invention of the printing press. It was commissioned by the Abbey in celebration of their 150th anniversary. A special script was created for the text and the illuminations are done in a variety of styles using gold, silver, platinum, and a bevy of colors.  Some are quite modern and some very traditional.  It has become a famous work, pages of the Bible being featured on tour in art museums. 

The day was bright and sunny, perfect for enjoying a stroll through the beautiful campus all dressed in its autumn foliage. We shopped in the bookstore, the Liturgical Press and went to the beautiful lake on the property. It was a perfectly enjoyable afternoon. Dinner in an Irish pub following our check-in in St. Cloud.

Tuesday brought us back full circle to Sioux Falls in plenty of time for the weekly Benedictine Mass and Office in the evening and then out for dinner again at one of Sioux Falls finest. The travel, the eating, the sights, the prayers are all part of the pilgrimage. If you don’t believe me just read or re-read Canterbury Tales!

Wednesday after breakfast at the Queen City Bakery I bid the other pilgrims adieu and then I was off to the Prairie Center for the beginning of my last round of chemotherapy.  The first day is always the longest because of blood work, waiting for medicine and longer infusions so I was incarcerated for more than four hours. All went well.  The blood work looked good. The pharmacy is being remodeled so the robots are not delivering medicine. That means that human error enters into the equation so the medicine went to the wrong desk and had to be searched out. The nurse described the situation as “red neck medicine from a trailer park” since the pharmacy has been relocated to a modular unit parked somewhere outside the building. 

The other pilgrims reported in as they arrived safe and sound at their destinations. It was so good to see these close friends again and spend some time with them.  We’ve done this pilgrimage several years now and already have our reservations for next year!

Thursday and Friday were shorter chemo days and beautiful days outside so I took a walk each afternoon and got my steps in.  I also got my flu shot at the insistence of Friday’s nurse.

Today, Saturday, was perfectly lovely, sunny, warm, no wind!  Two good and kindly friends came to help with yard work. They cleaned up the leaves in the driveway, mowed, and moved ceramic flower pots to the safety of the garage so they won’t freeze and crack. I’m so grateful for all the help I’ve received.

It was a wonderful week full of joy. I know we can’t expect joy all the time. This quote from Henri Nouwen was in my e-mail this week. It is a good one to keep in mind when things go well or not so well as we all know will happen.

“The great secret of the spiritual life, the life of the Beloved Sons and Daughters of God, is that everything we live, be it gladness or sadness, joy or pain, health or illness, can all be part of the journey toward the full realization of our humanity. It is not hard to say to one another: “All that is good and beautiful leads us to the glory of the children of God.” But it is very hard to say: “But didn’t you know that we all have to suffer and thus enter into our glory?” Nonetheless, real care means the willingness to help each other in making our brokenness into a gateway to joy.”

I am grateful for all the real care I’ve received.

The beginning of October or thereabouts.

Sunday was a lovely day, but windy.  What can I say? South Dakota is well known for its abundance of air movement. In the midst of the afternoon I roused myself from napping/newspaper reading to go out. There were some perceived needs that I thought I should deal with, one of which was rinse agent for the dishwasher. So forth I went. This morphed into shopping for a table lamp for my office, another need I perceived while walking across the parking lot of the mega-home improvement store. Two hours and four stores later I had the lamp and the rinse agent! 

Monday was spent at the fitness center in the morning and taking care of some errands in the afternoon.  I discovered my eyesight was improving each day and is clear for the most part now.

Tuesday was the day of the CT scan. One can assume that chemotherapy is working by what it does to the body and from the blood work done before each round of the stuff. My own body has tolerated the chemo so well one could doubt that it is having any effect on the cancer. I was looking forward to this day with a mixture of emotions.  Today, the “machine” would actually look at the tumors and see if there are any changes for good or bad. After my port had been accessed in the lab, I ascended to the third floor where some kindly person steered me in the direction I should go. A tech brought me two pint bottles of water laced with iodine with instructions to drink both in the next 40 minutes. I followed the instructions!

I was called forth from the waiting area with the announcement “we are ready for you.”  The tech brought me to the room where the giant doughnut resided. I think this is an appropriate name for the CT scanner. I just had to pull my trousers down below my knees and recline upon the moveable bed covered with a sheet. The machine did its thing moving me back and forth with seemingly no human direction, and issuing orders like “breathe in, hold your breath, breathe.” After a warning that I would feel warm as dye was injected into my IV, I did! In a few minutes it was over and I was free to go until the doctor’s appointment in the afternoon. 

The oncologist met with me in the afternoon with the results of the CT scan. I was happy to hear that the results were very good! The largest of the tumors in the liver was previously 6.9 cm. It was now 3.4 cm. Another of the liver tumors was 4.0 cm and is now 1.6 cm.  “Additional hypodense lesions are either no longer seen or decreased in size from the previous examination.”  The main tumor in the lung has undergone a “considerable decrease in size.” In looking at the pictures, the doctor pointed out the previous scan which showed a large mass, which is now just a whisp of a mark on the lung.

I’ll have another round of chemo next week and then go on immune therapy every three weeks, one session, for the foreseeable future.

Wednesday is the arrival day for the pilgrims from Denver and Charlotte. After collecting all from the airport at various times and taking care of checking into the hotel, etc. We will have a celebration of my friend’s birthday at dinner. Most of the prep work has been taken care of, so the preparation of same should be fairly easy.

Everyone arrived in Sioux Falls safely on Wednesday.  Everyone also arrived early! After the Denver contingent landed we did a little shopping, had some time to stop by the Prairie Center before they could all check in to their hotel. Then it was off to my house to prepare for dinner. The birthday celebration was pleasant and dinner was good according to the reports of the diners. 

The pilgrims at Kenny's.

Thursday we are off to Sheboygan, Wisconsin for the annual pilgrimage to the Shrine of Our Lady of Walsingham at Grace Church. This is an annual event and I believe I’ve only missed a couple of times since I began attending in 1991.  The day of travel was also a rain day.  It’s a little hard to see what’s going on when two semis are side by side spraying water! I drove as far as LaCrosse, WI and then asked my friend to drive. My vision was OK but I was beginning to get tired so it was good to have relief.  We stopped in Austin, MN (Spam capital of the world—the meat not the computer stuff!) and had lunch at a place we found last year, Kenny’s Oak Grill. It’s a real local color place with mountains of food on the plate. Maybe that’s why I got tired.  Too much lunch. We arrived in Sheboygan shortly after six and stayed in the rest of the night dining on cheese and crackers and pretzels and pie.   

Friday was a dreary day so we cancelled the idea of going to Holy Hill which is a usual stop on this trip. Instead we lazed around the hotel in the morning and attended the meditations for the quiet day in the afternoon. The rest of the pilgrims from Sioux Falls arrived in time for the Rosary at 5. After evensong, which was lovely, we all ended up at the The Duke of Devon, a local restaurant/pub which has excellent food. Fish and chips were on my plate followed by a portion of sticky toffee pudding. A very nice way to end the day. 

Saturday dawned bright and clear. A trip to the farmer’s market in the town square was in order.  We needed some things to take to Sunday’s potluck. The sun was shining but it was brisk with a healthy “breeze” which seemed to come from all directions. Two pies and a gallon of apple cider later we hustled back to the hotel to prepare for the big service at 10:30.  

This service is always celebrated by the Bishop of Fond du Lac and begins with a procession around the block with the statue of Our Lady of Walsingham. The extra long pilgrimage hymn was accompanied by a brass group from the Chicago area which also played during the Mass. The music is lovely and there is a lot of it. The “Harvest Lunch” follows which is always delicious. There is an healing service in the afternoon with more music from a string quartet and the organ. A beautiful conclusion to a wonderful day. 

Br. Mark-Romauld, Fr. Warren,
 Oblate William, Sister Scholastica

Most of my Benedictine community was present and we had our annual portrait taken. The promise of many prayers sent me on my way with happiness that I have been here one more time and found it a place I hope to return to many times more. Even if I cannot, I know that my name will be remembered each night when the Shrine Prayers are said.

There are places and then there are places. Rupp’s in Sheboygan is one of THOSE places. It is a typical, old fashioned Wisconsin restaurant with enormous quantities of food and waitresses that speak “Minnesotan” better than the natives. Our reservation was for 6:30 and we were seated at 6:31.5.  The place was packed. Then it pretty much cleared out and was almost empty until the next wave of diners hit shortly after 7. This crowd was, on the whole, a lot younger than the early crowd. The Saturday night special is prime rib. The smallest cut weighs in at 16 ounces (that is a whole pound of beef for those who have forgotten their English measurements). The food is really good and it must be one of the last places on earth where you can get a Golden Cadillac, a Pink Squirrel, or a Charlie Brown which topped off my meal.  I opted for the 6 ounce tenderloin.  I attempted the prime rib last year and gave up half way through. Rupp’s is an experience and it’s only one block from the hotel. 

Now it’s time to say good night. It’s been a wonderful week celebrated with good friends, safe travel, and good news. No one could ask for more. I am blessed.

What season is this?

The question in the title could be asked about any season in South Dakota. We seldom follow the “norms” for the season. My mother would tell tales about snow in Black Hills in June. I visited with someone who had recently returned from the Black Hills and told of not taking enough warm clothing along. 

In the meantime it was 80º+ and humid on Monday. The following days had trouble reaching 50º. It did get that warm during last night. We’ve had rain—over 4 inches this week so things are still quite green. Anyway, I’m tired of chilly, wet and gray days.  So I’ve been exercising, going to classes at the fitness center and getting my “steps” in each day.

Monday was the appointed time to see the eye doctor.  One of the side-effects of chemotherapy for some people is a change in vision. The chemo nurses warned me not to go out and get a new pair of glasses because things would change eventually.  I’m tired of looking at most things like I’m seeing them through a rainstorm. That applies even when the sun is shining although given our week’s weather it would be hard to see anything if one were not looking through a rainstorm!

The optometrist’s conclusion was that the chemo had caused my cataracts to shift into high gear so they needed to be removed before any new prescription could be issued. I have a consultation about that in the middle of November. To think I used to have a few derogatory things to say about elderly people who spent inordinate amounts of time in the doctors’ offices. Now I’m one of them. I guess turn about is fair play. I’ve learned that one must walk a mile in another’s moccasins before criticizing. So, no improvement in vision except that my vision has improved a bit since Monday. One can only hope it continues. 

The rest of the week has been pretty normal.  The exercise helps me a lot and generally improves my attitude. Friends who know me well say that my attitude is good. Perhaps they don’t interact with me when I perceive it not to be so wonderful. Cloudy afternoons lend themselves to naps. I can’t think of any monumental projects that have taken up my time this week. Evidently the naps have been my main occupation.  It is the first week of my two weeks off so I’ll rack it up to recovery and accomplish great things next week.

It was good to get back to choir rehearsal on Wednesday evening. I’ll be singing this Sunday but will then be away the following week. One of the frustrations of directors of volunteer choirs is spotty attendance. Trust me, I’ve been there and done that. Now I’m one of the spotty attenders. 

Tonight, the South Dakota Symphony will present its inaugural concert of the season. I’m looking forward to hearing some beautiful music. “Ravishing Rachmaninoff” is the title given the concert. Our symphony plays so beautifully. The superb Mary Sommervold Hall in the Washington Pavilion of Arts and Science is the place to hear them. I remember Mary asking me to be part of the group that assisted in the Hall’s final tuning twenty years ago. It was an amazing experience to try out different seats and report about how one experienced the sound in various levels of the Hall. Thanks to her family and friends that place now bears her name. She was a prime mover for an acoustical excellent performing space so it is just and fitting that it should be named in her honor.  May she rest in peace and rise in glory.

I just returned from the symphony concert.  The orchestra played magnificently.  The second half was John Corigliano’s Symphony No. 1.  The composer was present to introduce and explain his symphony. It is basically a memorial to friends of his who died from AIDS in the 1980s and 90s.  He pointed out that more persons died from AIDS than in the Viet Nam War but it wasn’t spoken about. It was not the easiest piece to which to listen, but it was very powerful and moving. It involved a huge orchestra and must have been difficult to play and direct.  Bravo South Dakota Symphony and Delta David Gier for a superb concert.

I am thankful for a good week, for friends, for prayers, for rest, for music and all that I’ve experienced.   Thanks to you for sharing my journey.